My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
