thus making me awesome and them whores
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
