Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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