Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
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We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
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I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize