Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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