She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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