I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
