girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
