I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I think your dad took our porno
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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