So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Randomize