Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
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