And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
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You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
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okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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