She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize