When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
