I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
