Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
