well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
you made out with another girl for some wings
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
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