I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
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