How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
