well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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