I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
It's official drugs can't kill me
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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