If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
