Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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