We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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