With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
