would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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