How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
