She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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