it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
