i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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