CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
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