i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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