Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
