i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
It's never too late to be topless.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
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