Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
