You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
