At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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