if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
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