She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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