now i know why i became what i already was.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Randomize
