and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
