These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
