I think scott just propositioned me for sex
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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