Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
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