I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Oh god it's open bar.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
