Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Someone came in the potted fern
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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