Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
