Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
