# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
