My liver just broke up with me...
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
