i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
