I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
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Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
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My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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