He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
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