YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Randomize
