just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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