Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
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