I seem to have left my pride at pride
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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