shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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