She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
