I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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