Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize