someone threw a dead crab at me
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
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