I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Randomize
