I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
so much tequila, so little girl.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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