Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
